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Post by Lieutenant Fatman on Jun 30, 2007 12:07:34 GMT
30176
Space Dwarves of the moon Gommullousteri IV, resented the galaxy wide circulation of their plans to release a hoard of Savage Giant Hamsters upon their greatest nemesis, The Domesticated Ungulates.
The hamsters were called off and all plans of war were swiftly denied. Ungulates everywhere rejoiced and celebrated by eating grass and mooing and making other noises of such ilk while showing obvious contentment.
The Space Dwarves were inevitably enraged by this extremely offensive behaviour and did not attempt to conceal their contempt. Once they cooled off a bit, they put much effort into finding out who had betrayed them and their plans.
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Post by jkirkwood on Jun 30, 2007 17:37:09 GMT
2007 30/6 at 23.59 the world goes bang and the smoking ban never happened and only ants lived it which make ants the best in the world
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Post by andrealouise on Jun 30, 2007 23:27:00 GMT
1/7/2007
it was all a dream and the smoking ban does happen
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Post by Lieutenant Fatman on Jul 1, 2007 11:23:21 GMT
7292 BC
A Prehistoric family, one of our ancestors gathers in their home, a cave. They attempt to teach their young child important lessons in life. The parents attempt to teach the child communication skills.
Cave woman: We cave people, you learn alphabet properly, A is for Aaaargh! Cave child: Aaargh! Cave woman: A for Aargh! Cave child: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! Cave woman: We Cave people! A is for... Cave man: Darling, I really think this is the wrong way to go about teaching our child values and self respect. I don't mean to undermine you, but technically we should be known as hunter-gatherers, it's a much more appropriate definition for our role in society. And also A for acquaintance would be more beneficial, don't you think? Cave woman: .... Cave child: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
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Post by jkirkwood on Jul 1, 2007 23:58:29 GMT
2007 2/7 1am new rule takes place all chocoholics must raid the fridge i got 1 min to go
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Post by andrealouise on Jul 2, 2007 0:10:46 GMT
2007 2/7 3am
Andrea is rushed to hospital through chocolate poisoning. Health authorities release a speach to the press warning of the unknown dangers in excessive consumption of chocolate
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Post by jkirkwood on Jul 2, 2007 0:19:11 GMT
2007 2/7 3.30 am
ban on all chocolate due to andrea eating to much
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Post by Duke Dudeston on Jul 2, 2007 1:16:56 GMT
2020 Scientist discover that we actually evolved from Donkeys and not apes, questions start to fly!
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Post by Nuclear Badger on Jul 2, 2007 12:56:19 GMT
1939
Germany finishes its preparations and readies itself to invade Europe. Hitler takes his generals out for a celebratory curry and night out on the town to mark the end of their long preparations.
After partying all night and eating some very dodgy curry Hitler wakes up late with most of his generals passed out on his floor and stinking of curry. He quickly jumps up and stumbles about as the alcohol has still not left his system. He attempts (badly) to dress himself as his speech to his nation is in 5 minutes.
He runs through the corridor to the balcony where his audience awaits and addresses the crowd. Hitler begins his speech but the audience stared in a shocked silence. Hitler is puzzled why he is getting such a reaction and looks down. He realises he is wearing nothing from the waist down except pink fluffy slippers and falls over trying to cover his own shame. He throws up and just lays there on the balcony in a pool of his own vomit while his nation boos him and leaves angry and disappointed in their leader.
Meanwhile Hitler’s other generals awake. Some with food poisoning from the curry, others having soiled themselves and one chained to the bed and covered in lime jelly.
Needless to say the war never happened as the leaders of the great German war machine were too sick and embarrassed to ever show their faces again.
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Post by andrealouise on Jul 5, 2007 0:53:21 GMT
2089
world war 3 starts between england and america because arnold schwazenegga's great grandson decides that we didnt do enough to help make a profit out of terminator 5.
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Post by jkirkwood on Jul 6, 2007 22:19:50 GMT
2100
prince harrys son prince bigdickdanggerlin is kiing and brings out a 21 pound note
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Post by andrealouise on Jul 7, 2007 2:06:25 GMT
2102
as the £21 note does so well, he decides to bring out a £6 note and an £11 note but then people just got confused and there was soon a devastating shortage of coins because of all the change being given.
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Post by jkirkwood on Jul 7, 2007 18:34:12 GMT
2103 bigdickdanggerlin was murdered as he messed around with british money mean while x king harry still isnt dead aged 120ish
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Post by andrealouise on Jul 15, 2007 23:51:41 GMT
2110
The first ever disposable house is introduced, it is made of liquorice and after you have finnished with it you eat it. The house can be made to live in for up to 5 days and costs 100 pounds to build, it comes equipped with a toilet, a microwave and a blow up bed. when you have finished with the house, the toilet ect is recycled.
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Post by Nuclear Badger on Jul 16, 2007 13:39:59 GMT
London, November 9th, 1888, 10:52PM
A pale, yet well dressed gentleman walked silently along the dimly lit streets of Whitechapel. He had a slight limp but walked with great determination as if he was in a hurry. The gentleman walked past a homeless man laying on a bench. "Careful guv, these streets not so safe anymore. The devil walks these streets at night."
The gentleman stopped and turned to look at the man on the bench. He says to the man on the bench "What do you know of the Devil?" The man on the bench replies "I seen him, in the shadows, waitin?" The gentleman replies "If it is so unsafe, then why do you choose to sleep here? Why not go somewhere far away where he cannot find you?"
The man on the bench replies "He not lookin for me guv, this is the safest place to sleep. Even demons afraid of the Devil. They dare not come here at night." The gentleman grins and replies "When you say Devil, do you speak of the murderer that has been killing ladies of the night? I heard he has been rather active lately." The man on the bench replies "No guv, I aint speaking of Jack"
The gentleman stops grinning and looks almost angry, he says "I will take my chances." The gentleman turns and continues walking when the man on the bench says. "Good bye Demon, don’t forget to watch ya back"
The gentleman stops for a second but does not turn around, he then continues walking faster than before down the street, almost stumbling with his limp. He sees that street lights up ahead are out so he turns to look for a better way, a look of fear on his face develops as he notices that the street light behind him have stopped shining as well and he cannot even see the man on the bench back down the street. The gentleman tries to make out the way and continues walking, unfamiliar of where he now is. He hears a noise from behind and stops in fear desperately looking around.
An in-human high pitched screech pierced the darkness and then there was silence. The dim lights again lit up the street and there was no trace of the gentleman. The man on the bench smiled and laughed. He said “Good bye Demon”
Later that evening the police find the fifth and final victim of Jack the Ripper. No other woman was harmed by his hands again.
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