|
Post by Lieutenant Fatman on Jul 16, 2007 14:37:26 GMT
2017
Manchester Police receive an emergency phone call from an astrology research center which has recently made several major technological breakthroughs in analysing our galaxy in amazing detail using satellites.
Caller: "..everywhere, surrounding us! They must be watching what we... incoherent speech ..ome kind of invasion!" " Voice in background: "Assume nothing!" Caller: "We must do something, or we won't have a chance, you have to do somethi... screams ..eady be too late.." Call ended.
Units sent to investigate the facility found little more than large scorch marks on the ground where buildings had previously been and a few piles of twisted melted metal next to which several cars were aflame. A nearby drunk who claimed to be a witness stated he had seen huge bright lights in the sky before it happened. Police consoled him, pointing out the sun was often described in this manner, especially when one has double vision.
When quizzed by the media on these strange events, The Prime Minister stated, "These crazy scientists do get up to some pretty loopy stuff don't you know, they're lucky we don't sue them for destroying government property. Let this be a warning! Next time there may be fines for such irresponsible behavior. No one has the right to bring back the dinosaurs! No one! ..what next, hmm? Flying llamas? I think not! I won't have them making a mess all over my lawn! Here's a headline for your newspapers, say no to dinosaurs! .. and flying llamas!"
Later that day The Prime Minister was arrested under suspicion of being an alien, and conspiring to put alien probes in people's socks.
|
|
|
Post by jkirkwood on Jul 22, 2007 2:17:45 GMT
2013 tescos sell there name for a twix and a tener for a taxi home while sainsburys sell up to a 5 year old chimp
|
|
|
Post by Nuclear Badger on Jul 23, 2007 12:24:45 GMT
262 AD
Goreignada the Estonian God of Confusion and Cabbages looked down on his people and was extremely pleased with the plentiful offering of cabbage soup that they had prepared for him at his most holy of temples. He blessed his people, infusing their being with that of the holy cabbage. To this very day descendants of the original Estonian populace can sprout cabbage leaves at will and lay in the sun for hours photosynthesising to create oxygen.
|
|
|
Post by Lieutenant Fatman on Aug 7, 2007 9:56:09 GMT
1992
"A purple monkey," said Tim enthusiastically, "With great big pointy teeth! And my library card. Must keep the purple monkey entertained you see, lest he turn his attention to haggis!!" He then swallowed an umbrella, just before announcing he had invented the world's first cloud illuminater.
When asked what this device was meant to do, he replied, "It illuminates clouds. But not very well admittedly. No I am not having a tin giraffe, it's the first one, and having just swallowed me only umbrella, I'm slightly distracted, what?"
It later turned out that Tim's invention was in fact a classic collection of glow in the dark Winnie the Pooh stickers, which he had stolen from his sister when they were tots. This information came to light after a newspaper paid him £25,000 to tell the secrets of cloud illumination.
|
|
|
Post by Duke Dudeston on Apr 29, 2008 12:01:07 GMT
2008
The British goverment actually listens to what the people of the nation actually wants, they still didn't do anything about it though!
|
|