Post by Duke Dudeston on Jul 30, 2013 22:33:42 GMT
Chapter 1
Deep down under the ground in Texas, a man lived next to a rather large chocolate pudding. Fred came across this man during a baseball match against a frog; he was a rather odd frog who lived inside the chocolate pudding. The frog loved chocolate, hence the strange and wondrous colour of his rather large multi coloured coat. Fred also loved the smell of simmering poo boiling in a rather large boat shaped potato peeler.
One day the pudding decided to explode, so the frog and the man - Albert, (who so happened to be very excited about his new mushroom and felt passionate about the mushroom), both decided to ask Fred if he would like a new haircut to show off to the queen of Fairyland, who advertised tomato puddings to three hundred and four people.
Fred traded Albert's mushroom for three red and turquoise spotted Shetland ponies and two tomato puddings, when Albert suddenly found a beer powered leaf blower that turned out to be a chocolate cheesecake laced with French Brandy. This caused him great confusion, and insecurity with his pet dolphin Chris. People always used to say how much better everything was in the good old days when Chris used to save people from fires and bake cakes for the homeless.
Fred saw three hundred hippos dancing in one of his twisted nightmares, so he erased his memory to escape this and from a very scary pair of sunglasses with stupid sized pants attached to them.
Meanwhile, a servant of 'Amazing Boris and his creepy travel companion Verik Kridor,' walked into a massive town full of odd shaped houses where strange illuminous elves conspired to create an indestructible Lego Drama-therapist, who had so much coffee and is now running round in circles (Drama-therapists are very coffee minded, so they drink loads of milky coffee and eat loads of milk chocolate, while listening to Barney the big purple dinosaur, who sings all day long.)
Meanwhile down under, in a pink umbrella shaped doughnut, many giant sized purple monkeys on roller-skates are doing the conga, round and round a shiny oblong Christmas tree. They are also worshiping a giant golden statue of a badger with nuclear sized eyes and a mushroom with big teeth. Suddenly the statue stood up and said, “Man, I really need a Wii,” only to be informed by the awful super hero burnt face man "Amazon are all sold out mate!" He looked really disappointed and wanted to jump off a building. So he did, causing a catastrophic fart, which was very loud and stinky. The whole world suddenly exploded! "That's what you think," said Death of rats, while wearing a bandanna with purple spots.
Death of rats is a rather uncommon affair in a rat farm full of big giant play pens, which they use to extract the milk from them. "I really regret going commando today," said ratty, "It's ever so cold, but never-mind it is soon to snow and then we will hear Santa's boots on a tightrope of doom."
The remains of the Earth transformed into a beautifully stunning and multicoloured sausage hot pot that was delivered to Granddad, which he took great delight in munching. Halfway through eating he thought, "Gosh! How did I get here?" due to his partial amnesia. He jumped out of an airplane that he built himself out of children’s toys, and a massive banana skin.
Down at the bottom of the garden, amongst the birds and the intercontinental nuclear missiles, Granddad who is very old and fragile says, “Who says pensioners can't grow their own bananas to save themselves from becoming murderous, and evolving into panda bears? My panda bear is dangerous because of his best friend who is a mad raving psycho monkey from Alpine.” What Granddad doesn’t know is the Alpines are often associated with orange, pink and purple flavoured stuff, which smells like his very old nasty slippers.
Fredrick the oversized hippo was fighting shark related crimes at the local supermarket, when his comrade Timmy, thought it would be funny to sing songs about salmon. His best mate Rambo said, "Dude you smell like candle wax mixed with salted peanuts." Timmy thought candles smelling of peanuts was pretty normal, so he brushed his giant sized teeth and continued to shake his marackers to a blind fishmonger passing by who was, thankfully, totally oblivious. The fishmonger then revealed his identity to Fredrick as being a simple minded door step.
Three dead salmon were heading towards a frying pan in Rambo's kitchen when he tripped over an oversized peanut tree that was growing out of a snowmans behind. Charlie was feeling very funny and had some more wicked strength lager which he liked which clearly says non alcoholic on the bottle but still very good for using to look like a bottle nosed fool.
He lent some booze to children outside of Tescos and said "I want that back!" upon hearing police sirens approaching the children downed all the booze then robbed an old granny while Swat teams flooded the area. Charlie was cornered by Lieutenant Fatman, so they all crapped their pants because Fatman was using force lightning to make snails dance to the conga.
Snails usually prefer the macarana, but they don't understand the lyrics that the queen is trying to sing but they do like the big dips accompanied by dorritoes delivered afterwards.
A huge vacuum cleaner took over and flew high over the hills to a home for the old and wise wizard. Who name I think Fred... both crazy and wise! Fred, cast a spell on the dishwasher, to make it also clean Later that day the queens bit torrent service went down, so she was unable to download any porn. So she called out for a marmalade sandwich as an alternative distraction.
22 people done the mexican wave when one little boy farted loud everyone took a big whiff and ran around with empty jam jars shouting "I like pink Banana's", They eat pink bananas because they are afraid of watermelons that have rabies. They get rabies because of something was wrong with the porridge that was shipped over from a little tiny island called red dragon. Where a monkey made out of poo was standing on a live wire while juggling doughnuts filled with razor sharp, bottle nosed Furbies. The Furbies loved to be juggled and eat snails covered in custard, they thought St Patrick’s day had become too silly for anyone to realise that paddys drink all year round not just on Tuesdays when watching Coulrophobics Tonight on BBC twelve. The monkeys who where flying out of a warm metal frying pan wearing small leather jackets with chains while doingsome hardcore triple letter score combinations on who wants to be a orangutans step uncle.
Twizzle sticks united play regularly on orangutans step uncle football sausage. Penguins with rather large ectoplasmic readings, cause a resonance cascade, in the Black Mesa Research Facilities' where they have some big dirty cowboy boots covered in horse raddish and carrots mixed in with a fine blend of smelly old coffee which really was not coffee but song called candle in the wind causing it to smell.
Combine troopers yell at the top of their voices why is the world round, they then collapse after realising they were surrounded by Doughnut Enforcers, wielding sticky pancakes, covered in reflective blue icing with sprinkled yellow and red polka dots.
Two young old guys done the konga to Metallica's song Some Kind Of Monster, but then discovered a secret trap door in my right butt cheek. Flamingo's on rollerblades wear red pantaloons all day. But wait the rollerblades had big umbrellas stuck to the side of their weels and as they went supernova, people ran in fear of the impending doom! This caused countless sheep counting... mmmmmm sheep, said the giant pengiun who really enjoyed sheep, as he was eating sheep burger.
Sheep burgers are on a special offer in sainsburys and they sing Lois Armstrongs "What a wonderful world" so many times that the sheep have fallen off the bridge into a steaming pile of cow dung.
A party for Valley Members was the last thing anyone expected but it went on anyway, it was a very messy party and someone fell in love with someones left foot, yes it was a strange six toed green and black spotted mouldy foot. Special glitter crackers were given away because of the smell.
Drunken hamsters on rollerscates doing the konga in the middle of a custard tart, one threw up on a donkey the other on a a gaint size turtle with orange flavoured torpedos attached to the shell.
King Koopa decreed that all plumbers should kill princess peach with a mushroom, mushroom, and a snakey snake, badger badger badger badger badger badger and a ring ring banana phone. Upon hearing this Princess Peach started to get really freaked out and wrote a letter asking King Koopa to send mario, boo, toad, and luigi. when they got there, yoshi ate them all up! Sonic then hit yoshi in the tummy and knuckles then jumped on yoshi's back and started riding him around the dessert island.
Meanwhile a huge flying cactus shed its spikes on an extra large egg, which suddenly burst open, revealing a gargantuan Yoshi. He looked beautiful and cute. He put on a ballet costume and started to dance in his boots, he then died a horrible death thanks to a flying egg, thrown by Birdo. She was the type of creature that liked to solve crossword puzzles.
Thomas the tank ran over five mini coopers, which were all crushed.
Tinkerbell spread her magic spell and this raised Yoshi as a zombie."Arrrrgh... arrrraggh," said the zombified Yoshi who was then killed again by a giant ant with a huge overdraft limit. A dude named Ihsoy wondered around Mini Egg Land looking for another donkey, as his one had a broken leg.
A purple hippo named Charlie was doing the Conga and singing to the music of the band Tattoo because he was so bored! Then a purple flying spanner took over Grandma and made her into an evil spaghetti lover, oh how she loved spaghetti.
Bob who was her pet blow fish plotted to conquer the biscuit tin, taking it from Evil Green the invisible blob. Evil Green was best friends with Pinky and the Brain who helped Charlie Chaplin destroy the massive roundabout of doom, while wearing a pink tutu. Pinky and the Brain flooded the backseat of their Honda because Bob wanted a ride to the horseradish police station to report a giant orange carrot with a strange looking balaclava on its head.
A beetroot, which looked very much like a cherry doughnut with a marsh-mellow center was seized from Evil Green due to laws regarding underpants related fatalities.
There was something rotting in the back of his garden. That was a smelly garden with a llama shaped frog, who ever heard of a green pigeon? well there was fifteen miles to go now, and ten steps to fred wests house He lived right down the side of a long pink orange. Fred west was evil and zobla the north was good. Zobla had to cover fred west in compost to stop him from exploding!
It was a very hard thing to do.
A stampede of sticky investment bankers came troddling down the hill to blackcurrant jelly hospital, as mellow the peanut butter was, it just didn't look like rosemary west. Who could imagine peanut butter looking like that. head surgeon borris jam sandwich, stood over his enemy's slain corpses, exhausted after a hard day but none of the chocolate raisins could believe how nasty bananas really are to marmite crumpets. bovril then took daiylea to court over the rabbid sausages that roam about Kentish town station, they have guns and bully quorn there.
Meanwhile babybel was having an argument with prince charles about the royal family. Charles felt it appropriate to only wear strawberry jam as lipstick, charles then wanted to swim in a tub of lard, while the queen wanted to go skating on baked beans in canada, people say that monkeys fly with pink wings, but tennis rackets is what they use.
The queen farted on live television, everyone laughed so much that phillip pood his pants. Philip decided to eat his own shoes as he was really hungry and was stuck in a lift with a door man named Kermit who happened to be ant spy who cloned blue slugs for the french!
My mother always says that they are right and then the world lost its balance after getting off the stair-lift at Neptune junction, it then danced like the funky chicken with bird flu and chicken pox.
meanwhile jordan and Bob were faffing around with the bra and pants. when suddenly jordan fell off the trumpet, why was the trumpet full of jockeys anyway?
out came 50 oompa loompa's from prince charles nose. However did they manage to swing on such fine nostril hairs? no, they slipped on a slimy yellow and red used monkey nut. In the year 1567 it was covered in charle's snot which was a wonderful colour of purple with orange spots on the attached label.
Also in 1567, dark nights did not happen because the sun never set, which was rare but made the people feel special about their chicken fried noodles, they cooked better. smelly egg fried toast. Meanwhile chocolate milk was boiling on the volcano, the munchkins loved to watch it explode because they were crazed derranged pshycopaths on helium but then the evil lord Bob Monkhouse decided that he liked to play blockbusters and said "Purple doughnuts what was that all about" which sally responed to by juggling hamsters with sharp razor blades love to play blockbusters while they shave thier ear hair and eat silicon chips.
Archaeologists uncovered ancient remains of my right butt cheek, it very smelly work but they found a hairy dried poo in the bottom hole. which they discovered to be a new life form called the pinklatoes, they were a livley and industrious super intelligent race that build second hand toilets with thier noses and tool kit. They also had very large yellow worms who dug into the ground to find vast subterranean rivers of molten apathy.
In the rivers were gold lego bricks with purple people playing with the lego bricks, trying to build themselves an all powerful God of watercress, oh all should bow down to the god and his fluffy pink yellow crown and odd looking dog called tyson. the orange dog loved to roll around and tell stories to inka the pink dragon mistress of the sea! Monkeys love to worship the great goddess of Denmark.
Four hundred and twenty six aardvarks doing the can-can to the never ending story, which does end eventually. but only ralph the dog knows how to play the spoons with his teeth and his dreadlocks. rocky the spoon bender could not bend spoons anymore due to having a metal plate in his right thumb. Twenty hippo's crossing the pink slime pond realised that silver frogs die quickly.
Albert's Mushroom Died! albert buried his mushroom in fertilizer and the mushroom grew into the king of gold mushrooms. There were over 700 kinds of frogs in antartica, they believe they are lucky.
Deep down under the ground in Texas, a man lived next to a rather large chocolate pudding. Fred came across this man during a baseball match against a frog; he was a rather odd frog who lived inside the chocolate pudding. The frog loved chocolate, hence the strange and wondrous colour of his rather large multi coloured coat. Fred also loved the smell of simmering poo boiling in a rather large boat shaped potato peeler.
One day the pudding decided to explode, so the frog and the man - Albert, (who so happened to be very excited about his new mushroom and felt passionate about the mushroom), both decided to ask Fred if he would like a new haircut to show off to the queen of Fairyland, who advertised tomato puddings to three hundred and four people.
Fred traded Albert's mushroom for three red and turquoise spotted Shetland ponies and two tomato puddings, when Albert suddenly found a beer powered leaf blower that turned out to be a chocolate cheesecake laced with French Brandy. This caused him great confusion, and insecurity with his pet dolphin Chris. People always used to say how much better everything was in the good old days when Chris used to save people from fires and bake cakes for the homeless.
Fred saw three hundred hippos dancing in one of his twisted nightmares, so he erased his memory to escape this and from a very scary pair of sunglasses with stupid sized pants attached to them.
Meanwhile, a servant of 'Amazing Boris and his creepy travel companion Verik Kridor,' walked into a massive town full of odd shaped houses where strange illuminous elves conspired to create an indestructible Lego Drama-therapist, who had so much coffee and is now running round in circles (Drama-therapists are very coffee minded, so they drink loads of milky coffee and eat loads of milk chocolate, while listening to Barney the big purple dinosaur, who sings all day long.)
Meanwhile down under, in a pink umbrella shaped doughnut, many giant sized purple monkeys on roller-skates are doing the conga, round and round a shiny oblong Christmas tree. They are also worshiping a giant golden statue of a badger with nuclear sized eyes and a mushroom with big teeth. Suddenly the statue stood up and said, “Man, I really need a Wii,” only to be informed by the awful super hero burnt face man "Amazon are all sold out mate!" He looked really disappointed and wanted to jump off a building. So he did, causing a catastrophic fart, which was very loud and stinky. The whole world suddenly exploded! "That's what you think," said Death of rats, while wearing a bandanna with purple spots.
Death of rats is a rather uncommon affair in a rat farm full of big giant play pens, which they use to extract the milk from them. "I really regret going commando today," said ratty, "It's ever so cold, but never-mind it is soon to snow and then we will hear Santa's boots on a tightrope of doom."
The remains of the Earth transformed into a beautifully stunning and multicoloured sausage hot pot that was delivered to Granddad, which he took great delight in munching. Halfway through eating he thought, "Gosh! How did I get here?" due to his partial amnesia. He jumped out of an airplane that he built himself out of children’s toys, and a massive banana skin.
Down at the bottom of the garden, amongst the birds and the intercontinental nuclear missiles, Granddad who is very old and fragile says, “Who says pensioners can't grow their own bananas to save themselves from becoming murderous, and evolving into panda bears? My panda bear is dangerous because of his best friend who is a mad raving psycho monkey from Alpine.” What Granddad doesn’t know is the Alpines are often associated with orange, pink and purple flavoured stuff, which smells like his very old nasty slippers.
Fredrick the oversized hippo was fighting shark related crimes at the local supermarket, when his comrade Timmy, thought it would be funny to sing songs about salmon. His best mate Rambo said, "Dude you smell like candle wax mixed with salted peanuts." Timmy thought candles smelling of peanuts was pretty normal, so he brushed his giant sized teeth and continued to shake his marackers to a blind fishmonger passing by who was, thankfully, totally oblivious. The fishmonger then revealed his identity to Fredrick as being a simple minded door step.
Three dead salmon were heading towards a frying pan in Rambo's kitchen when he tripped over an oversized peanut tree that was growing out of a snowmans behind. Charlie was feeling very funny and had some more wicked strength lager which he liked which clearly says non alcoholic on the bottle but still very good for using to look like a bottle nosed fool.
He lent some booze to children outside of Tescos and said "I want that back!" upon hearing police sirens approaching the children downed all the booze then robbed an old granny while Swat teams flooded the area. Charlie was cornered by Lieutenant Fatman, so they all crapped their pants because Fatman was using force lightning to make snails dance to the conga.
Snails usually prefer the macarana, but they don't understand the lyrics that the queen is trying to sing but they do like the big dips accompanied by dorritoes delivered afterwards.
A huge vacuum cleaner took over and flew high over the hills to a home for the old and wise wizard. Who name I think Fred... both crazy and wise! Fred, cast a spell on the dishwasher, to make it also clean Later that day the queens bit torrent service went down, so she was unable to download any porn. So she called out for a marmalade sandwich as an alternative distraction.
22 people done the mexican wave when one little boy farted loud everyone took a big whiff and ran around with empty jam jars shouting "I like pink Banana's", They eat pink bananas because they are afraid of watermelons that have rabies. They get rabies because of something was wrong with the porridge that was shipped over from a little tiny island called red dragon. Where a monkey made out of poo was standing on a live wire while juggling doughnuts filled with razor sharp, bottle nosed Furbies. The Furbies loved to be juggled and eat snails covered in custard, they thought St Patrick’s day had become too silly for anyone to realise that paddys drink all year round not just on Tuesdays when watching Coulrophobics Tonight on BBC twelve. The monkeys who where flying out of a warm metal frying pan wearing small leather jackets with chains while doingsome hardcore triple letter score combinations on who wants to be a orangutans step uncle.
Twizzle sticks united play regularly on orangutans step uncle football sausage. Penguins with rather large ectoplasmic readings, cause a resonance cascade, in the Black Mesa Research Facilities' where they have some big dirty cowboy boots covered in horse raddish and carrots mixed in with a fine blend of smelly old coffee which really was not coffee but song called candle in the wind causing it to smell.
Combine troopers yell at the top of their voices why is the world round, they then collapse after realising they were surrounded by Doughnut Enforcers, wielding sticky pancakes, covered in reflective blue icing with sprinkled yellow and red polka dots.
Two young old guys done the konga to Metallica's song Some Kind Of Monster, but then discovered a secret trap door in my right butt cheek. Flamingo's on rollerblades wear red pantaloons all day. But wait the rollerblades had big umbrellas stuck to the side of their weels and as they went supernova, people ran in fear of the impending doom! This caused countless sheep counting... mmmmmm sheep, said the giant pengiun who really enjoyed sheep, as he was eating sheep burger.
Sheep burgers are on a special offer in sainsburys and they sing Lois Armstrongs "What a wonderful world" so many times that the sheep have fallen off the bridge into a steaming pile of cow dung.
A party for Valley Members was the last thing anyone expected but it went on anyway, it was a very messy party and someone fell in love with someones left foot, yes it was a strange six toed green and black spotted mouldy foot. Special glitter crackers were given away because of the smell.
Drunken hamsters on rollerscates doing the konga in the middle of a custard tart, one threw up on a donkey the other on a a gaint size turtle with orange flavoured torpedos attached to the shell.
King Koopa decreed that all plumbers should kill princess peach with a mushroom, mushroom, and a snakey snake, badger badger badger badger badger badger and a ring ring banana phone. Upon hearing this Princess Peach started to get really freaked out and wrote a letter asking King Koopa to send mario, boo, toad, and luigi. when they got there, yoshi ate them all up! Sonic then hit yoshi in the tummy and knuckles then jumped on yoshi's back and started riding him around the dessert island.
Meanwhile a huge flying cactus shed its spikes on an extra large egg, which suddenly burst open, revealing a gargantuan Yoshi. He looked beautiful and cute. He put on a ballet costume and started to dance in his boots, he then died a horrible death thanks to a flying egg, thrown by Birdo. She was the type of creature that liked to solve crossword puzzles.
Thomas the tank ran over five mini coopers, which were all crushed.
Tinkerbell spread her magic spell and this raised Yoshi as a zombie."Arrrrgh... arrrraggh," said the zombified Yoshi who was then killed again by a giant ant with a huge overdraft limit. A dude named Ihsoy wondered around Mini Egg Land looking for another donkey, as his one had a broken leg.
A purple hippo named Charlie was doing the Conga and singing to the music of the band Tattoo because he was so bored! Then a purple flying spanner took over Grandma and made her into an evil spaghetti lover, oh how she loved spaghetti.
Bob who was her pet blow fish plotted to conquer the biscuit tin, taking it from Evil Green the invisible blob. Evil Green was best friends with Pinky and the Brain who helped Charlie Chaplin destroy the massive roundabout of doom, while wearing a pink tutu. Pinky and the Brain flooded the backseat of their Honda because Bob wanted a ride to the horseradish police station to report a giant orange carrot with a strange looking balaclava on its head.
A beetroot, which looked very much like a cherry doughnut with a marsh-mellow center was seized from Evil Green due to laws regarding underpants related fatalities.
There was something rotting in the back of his garden. That was a smelly garden with a llama shaped frog, who ever heard of a green pigeon? well there was fifteen miles to go now, and ten steps to fred wests house He lived right down the side of a long pink orange. Fred west was evil and zobla the north was good. Zobla had to cover fred west in compost to stop him from exploding!
It was a very hard thing to do.
A stampede of sticky investment bankers came troddling down the hill to blackcurrant jelly hospital, as mellow the peanut butter was, it just didn't look like rosemary west. Who could imagine peanut butter looking like that. head surgeon borris jam sandwich, stood over his enemy's slain corpses, exhausted after a hard day but none of the chocolate raisins could believe how nasty bananas really are to marmite crumpets. bovril then took daiylea to court over the rabbid sausages that roam about Kentish town station, they have guns and bully quorn there.
Meanwhile babybel was having an argument with prince charles about the royal family. Charles felt it appropriate to only wear strawberry jam as lipstick, charles then wanted to swim in a tub of lard, while the queen wanted to go skating on baked beans in canada, people say that monkeys fly with pink wings, but tennis rackets is what they use.
The queen farted on live television, everyone laughed so much that phillip pood his pants. Philip decided to eat his own shoes as he was really hungry and was stuck in a lift with a door man named Kermit who happened to be ant spy who cloned blue slugs for the french!
My mother always says that they are right and then the world lost its balance after getting off the stair-lift at Neptune junction, it then danced like the funky chicken with bird flu and chicken pox.
meanwhile jordan and Bob were faffing around with the bra and pants. when suddenly jordan fell off the trumpet, why was the trumpet full of jockeys anyway?
out came 50 oompa loompa's from prince charles nose. However did they manage to swing on such fine nostril hairs? no, they slipped on a slimy yellow and red used monkey nut. In the year 1567 it was covered in charle's snot which was a wonderful colour of purple with orange spots on the attached label.
Also in 1567, dark nights did not happen because the sun never set, which was rare but made the people feel special about their chicken fried noodles, they cooked better. smelly egg fried toast. Meanwhile chocolate milk was boiling on the volcano, the munchkins loved to watch it explode because they were crazed derranged pshycopaths on helium but then the evil lord Bob Monkhouse decided that he liked to play blockbusters and said "Purple doughnuts what was that all about" which sally responed to by juggling hamsters with sharp razor blades love to play blockbusters while they shave thier ear hair and eat silicon chips.
Archaeologists uncovered ancient remains of my right butt cheek, it very smelly work but they found a hairy dried poo in the bottom hole. which they discovered to be a new life form called the pinklatoes, they were a livley and industrious super intelligent race that build second hand toilets with thier noses and tool kit. They also had very large yellow worms who dug into the ground to find vast subterranean rivers of molten apathy.
In the rivers were gold lego bricks with purple people playing with the lego bricks, trying to build themselves an all powerful God of watercress, oh all should bow down to the god and his fluffy pink yellow crown and odd looking dog called tyson. the orange dog loved to roll around and tell stories to inka the pink dragon mistress of the sea! Monkeys love to worship the great goddess of Denmark.
Four hundred and twenty six aardvarks doing the can-can to the never ending story, which does end eventually. but only ralph the dog knows how to play the spoons with his teeth and his dreadlocks. rocky the spoon bender could not bend spoons anymore due to having a metal plate in his right thumb. Twenty hippo's crossing the pink slime pond realised that silver frogs die quickly.
Albert's Mushroom Died! albert buried his mushroom in fertilizer and the mushroom grew into the king of gold mushrooms. There were over 700 kinds of frogs in antartica, they believe they are lucky.